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1
Ah, I see.... :blush:
I blame not enough intake of coffee and ciggies to kick start my brain cell in activating 'understanding mode'..... :yup:
2
Phun / Re: I was standing at a bar one night enjoying a drink, when.....
« Last post by Yvonne on Sep 23, 18, 11:56 PM »
Of course,  ;D

but I was only referring to the swollen lips.  :gig:
3
Phun / Re: I was standing at a bar one night enjoying a drink, when.....
« Last post by Baron on Sep 23, 18, 11:29 AM »
Nope, just good genes, lots of moisturisers, and healthy eating.... :hungry1:

Which of course is a load of old rollocks.... ;D
4
Phun / Re: I was standing at a bar one night enjoying a drink, when.....
« Last post by Yvonne on Sep 22, 18, 10:16 PM »
And I just thought you were using Botox.  ;D
5
Phun / Re: Talk like a Pirate
« Last post by Yvonne on Sep 22, 18, 10:11 PM »
 :D  :D  :D  :D
6
Phun / I was standing at a bar one night enjoying a drink, when.....
« Last post by Baron on Sep 22, 18, 12:15 PM »
This  quite hefty, very plain looking woman came up behind me, grabbed my arse and said,  "You are very cute. Do you have a phone number?"

I   said, "Yes, do you have a pen?"

She   said, "Yes, Iíve got a pen".

I   said, "Then you better get back into it before the farmer misses you."

Cost  me 6 stitches...but,

When   you're seventy...............who cares?

 **********
I   went to the chemist and told the girl behind the counter, "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Lady  assistant:  "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

I   said "No... She's pretty good  looking....."

 When  you're seventy.............who cares?

***********
I   was talking to a young woman in the RSL last night.

She   said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I   said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there, instead of you."

Cost   me a fat lip, but...

When   you're seventy..............who cares?

**********

I   was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born, just by feeling her breasts.

"Really"   she said, "Go on then... Try."

After   about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I   said, "Yesterday."

It  cost  me a kick in the nuts, but...

When   you're seventy...............who cares?

*********

I   got caught taking a piss in the swimming pool today.

The  attendant shouted at me so loudly, through a loud hailer - I nearly fell in.

When   you're seventy...............who cares?

**********
I   went to our RSL last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

I   said, "Good legs."

The  woman giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I   said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost   me 6 more stitches, but...

When   you're seventy..............who cares?

7
Phun / Re: Talk like a Pirate
« Last post by Baron on Sep 22, 18, 12:06 PM »
Phew..... :flowers: :flowers: :-* ;D
8
Phun / Re: Talk like a Pirate
« Last post by Yvonne on Sep 22, 18, 12:28 AM »
Uh oh...looks like I have upset Yvonne somehow..... :o :o ;D
  :D :D :D never
9
Phun / Re: Talk like a Pirate
« Last post by Baron on Sep 21, 18, 02:17 PM »
Uh oh...looks like I have upset Yvonne somehow..... :o :o ;D
10
Phun / Re: Talk like a Pirate
« Last post by Yvonne on Sep 20, 18, 12:28 AM »
Very appropriate Handy,  ;D
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