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Author Topic: BAD jokes only in this thread please - if easily offended fuck off.  (Read 261677 times)

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Offline Baron

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Ummmm, where do you live, and what time are you cooking this bacon ?.......... ;D :hungry1:
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline fred

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Ummmm, where do you live, and what time are you cooking this bacon ?.......... ;D :hungry1:
any decent butcher will be only too pleased to cut it for you.  Not telling you where I live and if I told you when I was cooking it I would have to kill you.  :gig:
I've told you how I cook it so go for it.  Aim for thoroughly cooked but moist inside but with noticeable crisp,  even the odd black bit, on the outside.
I jumped into a river in France and it turned out I was in Seine

O'r holl gerbydau'r Byd a gāf
Yr elor yw yr olaf

Offline Kat

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Or, if you're in a panic, fifteen seconds in the microwave.  ;D

Offline Baron

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Fred, at least if you killed me, I would die happy with bacon juice oozing from my cold and lifeless lips..... ;D

Mind you, there is a Farm Shop near to me, where I have bought in the past some lovely slices of reasonably thick bacon (not the paper thin slices in a supermarket), that appear not to be full of water and salt either.
Plus nice pork chops, sausages, and fresh chicken................but a little pricey, but well worth the money.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline Baron

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Or, if you're in a panic, fifteen seconds in the microwave.  ;D

Agreed, microwave ovens are very much in use in my house..... ;D
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline fred

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Microwaves are the servant of the devil determined to ruin food.  The only exception I can think of is using a combi oven(convection +micro) to bake a spud with crisp skin in 15 min.
Yes, I have had a few spuds explode due to insufficient pricking.
quiet in the cheap seats
I jumped into a river in France and it turned out I was in Seine

O'r holl gerbydau'r Byd a gāf
Yr elor yw yr olaf

Offline Baron

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 ;D  Mine is mostly used for making some just about eatable scrambled eggs....2 eggs, some blue top milk, chunk of butter, and sometimes some cheddar cheese chucked into the mix, with a slice of ham, or burger, or a couple of sausages and slice of toast.
Only because it is reasonably easy and quick to do, when I can't be arsed to think of anything else for lunch.

Sausages need some generous pricking too..... :gig:
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline Kat

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Coz of our disabilities, neither of us can cook, safely.

The microwave's a godsend, for us.