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Author Topic: The Global Recession...  (Read 190 times)

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Offline Baron

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The Global Recession...
« on: Aug 12, 17, 12:53 PM »
The recession has hit everybody really hard.

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon and a Muslim with only one wife.

If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds,  etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.



I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline Kat

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Re: The Global Recession...
« Reply #1 on: Aug 20, 17, 07:00 PM »
 :t:

Offline Baron

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Re: The Global Recession...
« Reply #2 on: Aug 21, 17, 11:18 AM »
 :o  :gig:
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.