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Author Topic: Useful tips for life...  (Read 187 times)

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Offline Baron

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Useful tips for life...
« on: Apr 24, 19, 11:21 AM »
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES   WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER..

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING   A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline Kat

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Re: Useful tips for life...
« Reply #1 on: Apr 27, 19, 07:21 PM »
They seem reasonable....  :juice:

Offline Yvonne

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Re: Useful tips for life...
« Reply #2 on: Apr 28, 19, 12:37 AM »
Very good, but I thought the duct tape was going to be used on the nagging other half.  :gig:
Camera - Nikon - Coolpix P510



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Offline Baron

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Re: Useful tips for life...
« Reply #3 on: Apr 28, 19, 10:33 AM »
I did think of adding that to the email I got, but thought I would leave it alone.... ;D
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline fred

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Re: Useful tips for life...
« Reply #4 on: Apr 28, 19, 07:05 PM »
If wearing sandalls it's best to know where the mouse trap is
I jumped into a river in France and it turned out I was in Seine

O'r holl gerbydau'r Byd a gāf
Yr elor yw yr olaf

Offline Baron

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Re: Useful tips for life...
« Reply #5 on: Apr 29, 19, 04:26 PM »
If young children are playing, and walk about with bare feet, it is best to know where the likely bits of Leggo are strewn about...especially in the dark...
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline fred

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Re: Useful tips for life...
« Reply #6 on: Apr 29, 19, 06:05 PM »
Best remember where the mouse trap is if wearing sandals.   :angel3:    :-[
I jumped into a river in France and it turned out I was in Seine

O'r holl gerbydau'r Byd a gāf
Yr elor yw yr olaf