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Author Topic: Male or Female...  (Read 302 times)

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Offline Baron

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Male or Female...
« on: Aug 10, 19, 10:52 AM »
Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TYRES:
Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS:
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable, and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS:
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS:
Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS:
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline handy

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Re: Male or Female...
« Reply #1 on: Aug 10, 19, 01:43 PM »
 :hysterical: All new to me
Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy

Offline Kat

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Re: Male or Female...
« Reply #2 on: Sep 03, 19, 03:35 PM »
Computers are definitely female, as are cars. No matter how much love, care and attention you give them, they'll eventually stop  working.

I nearly typed "go down on you", but that wouldn't be bad. :).

Offline Baron

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Re: Male or Female...
« Reply #3 on: Sep 03, 19, 07:48 PM »
My computer sits on my desk at about waist high, and it has never gone down on me, unless I have broken it.
So that makes it better.....
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline Kat

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Re: Male or Female...
« Reply #4 on: Sep 15, 19, 09:49 PM »
Those machines you put your card in, when you pay for summat? DEFINITELY female.

They're soooooo bossy!

Offline Baron

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Re: Male or Female...
« Reply #5 on: Sep 16, 19, 10:43 AM »
Or paying for your stuff at the self service machines in a supermarket..... ;D
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline Kat

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Re: Male or Female...
« Reply #6 on: Sep 16, 19, 11:22 AM »
I refuse, point-blank, to use those things. I'd rather have a person employed than a machine.

Offline Baron

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Re: Male or Female...
« Reply #7 on: Sep 16, 19, 07:46 PM »
Oh me too, as there are some rather nice and juicy girls on the check outs in my local Coop, and they cheer up my day, as they have great personalities, and don't mind at all a bit of 'banter'.....even the older ones.
Sometimes (not very often) I will buy my favourites a bunch of flowers  :flowers: for being so nice, to show my appreciation of their friendlyness.
But.....that's just me....a big fat softy..... ;D

There was also a lovely girl who worked the counter at Boots the Chemist, who did not have a coronary when I handed in my prescription for some 8-9 pills my quack has told me I need, and before that the Manager Pharmacist who just works part time now on a Saturday and I think Sunday.....not sure.

I gave the lovely Tracey who had got fed up with some of the customers, after 7 years, and went to work at a Vets.
Anyway, I got them both a bunch of flowers when they left at different times.
I rather miss Tracey though, and visiting Boots is not the same any more....*sigh.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good - But, too many Birthdays can kill you.

Offline Kat

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Re: Male or Female...
« Reply #8 on: Sep 16, 19, 09:51 PM »
Funny, you mentioning that. We used to go to a garden centre (Wyvale), on a Sunday, for lunch and a look around. A few years back, they changed everything and the meals were all kinda pre-packed and the menu was really rigid. When it comes to food, I'm an awkward sod. I rarely have things that are as they appear on the menu, coz I'm allergic to fruit and most veg, I'm intolerant to. So, all this pre-packed rubbish would've meant me leaving half of it.

Sooo... we thought "Bugger that!" and went elsewhere. A few weeks back, we went into the local "The Range" and, whilst we were there, we decided to have a cup of chai/char. When we went in, I recognised one of the girls and she absolutely BEAMED at us! It was one of the girls who used to work at Wyvale.

Anyway, we go in, now and then, and get nattering, like we do...

On Saturday, we went in and there were two more of them! The first one, Hannah, said the sweetest thing. Apparently, the staff at Wyvale were really sad, when we stopped going, coz they really looked forward to us being there, coz we're "Not at all like ordinary people", in that we take the piss (in the same way you do with friends) and joked around. The other two agreed and we did our usual, in there!

It's nice to be appreciated, innit? It's funny, really. As you must've noticed, I'm not what you'd call "normal". OK, I'm fucking weird! But, I'll tell you something... I mean this in the nicest possible way and I don't mean it to be taken as me bragging, or boasting... But... even at the age of sixty three, I'm still a bloody babe magnet! I can't think why, for even a nano-second, but I often get small groups of women and girls around me.

The best part, is that I have no idea as to why... (Other than being hung like a hippo, obviously) ;)

Good job Jane's not the jealous type.